Tuesday, May 25, 2010 / 12:41 PM
a first of many...
my first movie with my form class
winning my first medal at Pei Hwa
being part of the first graduation to be held at a hotel
the first time writing graduation testimonials, which will follow them for life.
So many firsts,
despite being past a quarter-of-a-century old.
Teaching may not be glamourous enough,
nor do i get a pass to events and party launches.
I do not get to carry LVs, or wear Jimmy Choos,
BUT
i talk to students,
whose hearts are still pure, and untainted
i try my best to nurture them,
these simple minds.
i listen to them, and hear their fears,
and reassure them that they have the capacity to take on what comes.
i recognize their effort, not trace solely their results
and as i journey with them each day,
i learn and relearn,
how best i can be,
how best i can become for them
even if i left behind a dream,
i'm creating more dreams each day in my career.
Cheers to that. Sure as hell keeps me going :)
Thursday, May 20, 2010 / 9:22 AM
in my exchanges with you,
over that tiny screen,
though over only a brief, few minutes,
a realization dawned on me
你们的努力,我全都看在眼
你们的心思, 我都认同
我的要求, 并不无理
对你们的期待与渴望, 并非过分
可能我眼里的你们, 和你们所想象的自己, 有个差距吧
可是打从心底想诚恳地告诉你们,
"Dont't trample upon your self worth,
or let others do the same.
For others to believe in you,
you need to first believe in yourself
Don't tell yourself you can't make it,
just tell yourself to hang on, and believe it will get better.
Don't take each setback as a measure of what you can't do,
but an opportunity to try again and achieve what you have yet to.
Make all the mistakes now dearlings
be fully aware of where you went wrong
so that when the real crunch comes
you will be fully aware not to make the same mistakes."
from mere classes, you have become my dearlings,
from strugglers, to fighters,
it's such a journey, watching you pick up speed,
some getting ready to fly, others still stumbling along,
but the most important thing to note is,
we are ALL moving along,
we may be lagging,
BUT
we are not stopping.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010 / 12:22 PM
more sensitive than before
like a mimosa which just wants to be left alone.
i'll curl up when you come too close.
you don't meet my standards
and
i'm sick of lowering mine, for you.
you don't deserve it,
though
daily, i tell myself otherwise
but i've got feelings too
but how easily you forget
you get used to trampling.
forget to care
never bothers to listens
BUT
expects that as a ideal
i MUST take it,
rationalize it,
then PATIENTLY ADVISE you otherwise.
i remembered my job application
it read: educator.
not, saint.
i live with imperfections
sometimes, you fall below that.
a little more sensitive than usual.
needing to to be pampered and taken care of.
stop expecting me to be this or that, or worse, to accept your lack of.
when i start with a stare, you ignore.
a glare, you shift, but nothing. the pen stays untouched.
i call your name, first holding in my annoyance,
then, i look at you. with nothing but a serious stare.
when i mean it, i do.
well, for those who don't,
Singapore alwaz needs rubbish collectors. Welcome to that.
Friday, May 07, 2010 / 5:26 PM
In here, a pin drop silence. Not for long, as she closed the intricately carved, wooden door behind her. At last! Back in her haven. Accompanied by a new pile of storybooks which she had picked up gleefully at the well-stocked school library earlier, and armed with her cost-saving, yet decent cup of ice latte from a nearby McCafe.
oblivious to the bustling world beyond her closed windows,
she sinks into her well cushioned, bright red, bean sofa and
sighs appreciatively.
The room is cooled comfortably, a shield from the sweltering heat beyond the four walls. In here, the rays of the setting sun coming through the wooden framed windows, is a comforting, pretty sight, as night beckons on.
No music in the background today. Silence, except the sound of fingers tapping across her two year old pearl white netbook and the soft, almost unnoticed, humming of the air-conditioner.
The week of her birthday, was slowly rolling to an end. It has been a blast while it lasted, but now, reality has hit, pressuring her to get back to marking the growing pile of examination scripts. But she is contented enough to amber along, out of the memorable week she has indulged in.
Vivid images come to mind unconciously. Captured images of kite flying at the Marina Barrage, frozen in time, behind sepia lenses. Bagel making with Pamelia, a champagne toast while sitting atop ground sheets and picnic mats, a delicious mango flavoured birthday cake, and three other Cocoa Exotics from 3 different groups of loving friends who remembered. From family, to colleagues, to students. Their beautiful faces all plastered in her memory of May. Blissfully blessed, bountifully blessed, beautifully blessed by God.
To call the week magical, would be a grosteque understatement.
This was one helluva birthday to be remembered for a long time after.
With that. The last pleasurable trail of her fatabulous week penned down, she heaves a contented sigh as she logs off, and returns to what she must set out to do. Set the prelim papers.
