Friday, February 29, 2008 / 9:49 AM
drawing a deep breath and willing all the negative feelings away..Nope. Doesnt always happen the way you want, the way you expect.Was looking forward. Only to meet disappointmentFelt crestfallen, "Oh, that's it. I guess that's all that's on your mind," i thought to myself.On my way to class, i reminded myself.Don't wish for the stars next time. Things cant possibly always go the way you want it.That's my lesson for this friday.Not to wish anymore,Not to expect or have hopes.Then, nothing can possibly disappoint me.at the back of my mind, you mean there's anything in your mind about me at allnothing of these everyday that you could talk about, say, or reminisceand the worst thing is to only be able to rant here, in this lil cosy spot, where everyday is Christmas
Thursday, February 28, 2008 / 9:53 AM
Back in the dance momentum! felt the long-forgotten jitters of pre-dance preparations..:)
definitely feeling old and creaky. Last week, hurt my kneww (again) during dance...last night, hurt my ankle (or sorta ankle, it's in between my ankle and my sole) while doing a turn on the floor...GAWWWWWWD...so not like the old me...Trying to find back the good old days of youth and fitness!..today would have been a perfect day to head to O SCH for Anne's class with the rest of illusion babes..but well, the injury just dashed it. Not like the boyfriend's gonna agree to it, since i was limping my way ard in sch today..Yup, dance is outta the question.
Yesterday, as Fen was telling us more about the show in July, i felt the old excitment creeping back. So quietly, and subtley...but so eager all the same. I cant wait! There;s still the worry of school and not being to juggle, but it's cast far behind in my mind, just like it was in the past, when i was shuttling between school and scholarship programme. This show in MOS, in July, sounds too much like the fun and adrenaline rushes i experienced juz a year before..cant wait to soak in it again! I will get my life organized. I will be able to juggle both dance and teaching. I will because i must. I must because i want to. There's nothing better now. den a good lesson, a good dance workout, and quality time with that green tubby martian.
I've gt so many things coming my way, the Mar hols, Bintan, June Hols, Shanghai, Taipei, HongKong or Australia...Japan at the end of the year...feeling the itch to shop, tan, relax, cut my hair again, go swimming, dancing, running...cant wait to be fitter, healthier, happier...
Thursday, February 21, 2008 / 12:24 PM
pods and roses,
bears and vouchers
shopping sprees and beaches---hob's reasons to smile and skip to class :)
Monday, February 18, 2008 / 7:17 PM
the soft hum of Zhang Shao Han, in the warmly lit background is a perfect setting for work, my fav cup of cuppa, and that martian hiding in the not-so-far-away corner of the room. :) As i'm burrowing through the stack of common test scripts,
his presence, our lunch and my fav song are surely the best things that God can shower me with. Well second to miraculously marking these piles on my behalf :)
thank you dear for fetching me after work.the first day of the week can always seem a drag, esp with meetings and the lack of time to grab a savoury bite in between classes. Aston's and a drive outta sch brought much comfort and delight. You cannot imagine.
My great start to the week!! and im still reveling in it! :) havent had this feeling in a while, where i feel like the lil girl soaking her feet at the beach, only to be picked up by dadie dear afterwards, just so sand wouldnt be caught in between her toes. Yup Yup! thankew to you, you and you, for mustering all the love you have just for me. For your honesty, love, care, pamper...for the ai xin muffin and love notes..and the times you choose to listen and not roll your eyes at me...
i love my life! :))) cant smile enough, cant smile wider...the next best thing, would be falling with arms wide open into that cosy bed beckoning to me.....cheers till the next time michelle fuss, whines, cries or laughs again!
and i miss how id leave these msgs for you, in yello, hoping that even far away as you were, you'd read it and know, that i've alwaz had dat special spot for you in my life best bud. To the best bud, then, now, and forever i hope. :)
Wednesday, February 13, 2008 / 8:28 AM
Right outside the our cosy restaurantthe quiet breeze of the evening, as we strolled down the driveway,the lil excitment in me, still guessing where we were at.So this place which you havnt brought anyone yetthis lil cozy corner away from the hustle and bustle of the city this place where i tasted my favourite dessert with my favourite personthe only one i wanted to be with.Didnt matter that you lost your way, or went in circles before we reacheddidnt matter that i was a lil starving hobbit in the car.All it mattered was, after a long day of rushing around, getting the ends and bits of my pressiewe enjoyed our unique and uber yummy dinner, over an equally comforting, enjoyable conversation.Our first valentines, so simple, yet memorable...dressed up for dinner, then 2 couch potatoes watching full house..:) juz smiling thinking abt it..savouring the sweetness of this relationship*one of the lil gifts i got from my darl. sweet that a guy would buy this and use it*
"wherever you go, my heart will follow"--the martianand to that, only one things comes to mind, "thank you for loving me...for being my eyes, when i couldnt see..."--hobbit
the martian and hobbit, our most comfy selves, under covers, enjoying the romantic korean serial
Saturday, February 09, 2008 / 7:07 PM
Sometimes in an instant,
you could see so much of a person
just one glance, one grin, one familiar squeeze of your tiny hand in his
Sometimes in a moment,
you could feel so many emotions
content, joy, bliss, happiness, yet the envy, hiding in between
Sometimes in a word
you could spell the future
hopes of success, love, a family, all holding up
Sometimes, just sometimes,
we can choose to see all the good,
and the let go of the past...
but sometimes, not all the times
we succeed
Thursday, February 07, 2008 / 6:08 PM
some times life can be so demanding...one moment we are here, and the next, we are whisked somewhere else,needing to play another role, fulfill another duty.and amid the noisy chatter and bustle,i feel lost sometimes.feel like while rushing about, i've left bits of my energy here...sometimes there...and the soul becomes incomplete, unable to be who i am fullyunable to give you my 100%.at times, the best remedy is not to soak myself among more friends, throw my head into another party, but really just to be in the quiet rm, with ujust you n i, not even needing music in the background. just you and i, in that simple, familiar, comforting fashion,in the perfect silence, just knowing. a knowing you. a knowing me. perfect understanding.rather than let the noise and crowd clutter up the hours,let the seconds tick by without leaving any imprints.id rather, just a quiet quality moment, with you,where we stop, and let the world roll by ahead for a second. Suddenly i feel like i don't belong....like im detached from what i should be
Monday, February 04, 2008 / 9:26 AM
smile
because life feels perfect,
you holding my hand and wandering the mall
new year shopping just like any other couple we meet
because of what you whisper in my ear
everytime you lean just that bit closer
and bring your head near to mine
because of how you'd reach over for food,
just so you can have a chance to give me a hug
even with friends around
you assure me with your affections
because i felt your love in so many ways
because you make me feel like it's real
because you make me want to take a leap of faith again
this time into your arms,
not caring.not thinking.
just believing in what my heart feels
for you.for me.for us.
thanx love. martian.genie
Saturday, February 02, 2008 / 1:07 PM
the spaces that fills the gaps in our conversations
like pauses in our dance of love
the magic of 2 beats in our lives,
when you breathe and think of me twice
the perfect silence between two best friends
it was love meant to last till the end
Looking back in yonder days
we felt that moment in so many ways
in that silence of that second
just before your lips met mine
The silence as we rub noses,
in the quiet of the night
it's that perfect understanding,
even when we are not looking at each other
we know we r secretly, thanking god in our hearts
:)
This beginning to Feb, couldn't have been better..i feel like iv been sun-kissed by Cupid's touch! :O)
Friday, February 01, 2008 / 10:20 AM
The First Day of Feb, deserves 2 entries, no? :)
Thanx lil underaged thingies for asking about me, asking about my whereabouts. Haha, my standard reply had been, i've been happily away from you. :P im sure you've been happy with those periods without me nagging at you 2...albeit the work i left u with. Thanx anyway munchkins. and the not to underaged upper sec named Stacie. Didnt mean to be a cause of worry even for you, now that im not teaching you.im crossing my fingers that it wouldnt end up as throat cancer. That would be my greatest fear i guess. but il cast that deep dark fear for another time when i can be silly and gloomy.
Not now, not when new year is within the next 4 days! :) Many reasons to be carrying that goofy smile, silly grins, and that dreamy float in your footstep!
I'm sure your houses are decked in red and gold for prosperity and all...:) and the sumptuous feast that awaits you next wed night! yummy!
Feb--another month for romance. im commercialized. don't roll your eyes now. Which girl would mind flowers, be it a stalk or a bouquet? OR a homecooked meal, a song you've written in her name, a dinner among many couples, then a stroll by the beach (BORING!) yesh gentlemen..much as these traditional ideas cost and would be appropriate enough, it's time to START THINKING!
Just as OHP and chalkboards served us well, present day ppt, flash, interactive whiteboard does so much more to catch their attention! So, like the matas who are in present day wearing pants already, not shorts, it's time to come up with crazie, fun, low cost, high cost, memorable ways of making this Vday, worth your time and hers! Don't take the lazy way out. Boys can do origami and cook too! Just because things are left on the table doesnt render it useless...Effort effort effort!
So to all i love...guys and gals alike...Happy CNY! gets loads of ang pows to sponsor your OPERATION Make-her-happy-on-VDAY!and in the words of ms jasmin tan, heres chelle signing off,with much love, hugs, kisses, flowers and sunshine! :)
What if you were told tomorrow you only had three months to live?
Or what if you lost your life overnight in a car accident which you friend never intended for?
Would whatever you are busy rushing through now, the emails you are replying, the sms-es you're sending out, the projects next month, your plans for next week, still be important?
When all the money you've been working hard for, cant extend your life even for a day. Will you still prioritize it as first place?
A 40 year old man, was diagnosed recently with stomach cancer. He was in his terminal stages, and had only 3 months to live. My mum shared this story with me, seeing that i was on MC the past 2 days, and reminding me that i really needed to take good care of myself. This was after i protested at my parents' comments that i was irresponsible for being on 2 day MC. When she reiterated the story to me, i asked myself, what would i do, and what would be important to me.
epms? work review? npcc schedules? hardly any cause for anxiety. I would not want these things to streak my remaining days with anxiety, panic, worries.
instead, i would want to head back to the studio everyday, work on every dancei could.
I would want to take this weekend, and pick up a beginner scuba diving course somewhere nearby.
i would want to be in the same kitchen as granny dear, and learn the recipes she has fed us with all these years. and i would want to cook these yummilicious dishes for the you.you and you.
i would want to travel for a month to europe, than 2 weeks to Japan, to experience spring, that being a teacher cant see.
I would accompany you in learning jap, so i can ramble with u, and haf u correct me, when im doing it all wrong. Maybe, il be wrong on purpose sometimes, just to have you show off that you know. :)
i would bring that lil hot sis of mine out, to shop till we drop, eat will we cant shop and later, watch her and my fav boy with his fav friends, play rounds of mahjong.
i would finally wake up in the wee hrs of the morning to accomany papa and watch him play golf.
I would finally wake up in the not so wee hours of the morning to catch the sunrise, go jogging, swimming, then watch the sunset.
I would apologize to all those i feel i owe, and love everyone else a dozen more times than usual.
I would want to talk to my students, not about their hair or attire, but their lives, their loves, their hates and anger. Those would be my greatest lessons, no lesson plans needed.
i would kiss my parents goodnight every night, just like in the old days, when i was 5.
I would go to all my dance teachers, Ms Lee, Pat, Ryan, Fen and tell them how much they have contributed to my life.
see, i knew if life was coming to an end, i wouldn't give two hoots about work and all the admin that gets me down and worried each weekend.
i don't know why im still bothering about it, maybe cuz you need to pass the exams, and i need my pay. maybe cuz like evryone else, im being a realist, im working within the system, not against it. mayb...just maybe
So, il try with this upcoming new year, to do more of those things i listed above. Not all, just more. and to remind myself to love life and all the moments god has blessed ms croaky toady with yesterday, today, and the days to come.
Right outside the our cosy restaurant
a good day out, just feeling the breeze in my hair
and what's better than to enjoy a perfectly tantalizing lunch as well
