.tracing her footsteps::tread gently where she steps.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007 / 3:54 PM

life's been so good the past few days,
i wasnt prepared for today's emotional roller coaster ride...

i look on at you
yours is a face of shock, loss, outrage
why, you ask? why nt more?
it had to be my most silent time with you,
the distance between stretched further than it had ever been
did i betray you, did i lose you, did i let you down
did i....did i.....

my words were caught in my throat,
my emotions raging in my head
while some of you didnt deserve to fail
search your concience the rest of you,
and tell me why should you have passed

your grades was a mirror in my face
a reflection that iv failed,
and looking at your response,
ive failed in so many ways.

for the little girl...
In life, we win some, we lose some...
but we don't ever lost heart to keep trying our best
and that's what's gonna bring us further,
further than your As and Bs...
so light that hopeful smile agn..

and beyond the classroom, beyond the need to perform in school
i hear of friends from long ago
friends who still care, but stand at a distance watching

can you really catch me when i fall
when you dunno anything abt what is happening at all

are you too far to share my smiles?
or hear my laughter from so many miles?
has your heart stayed close to mine
or did i miss it, because iv remained blind?

blind to your love
distanced from your care
simply cuz i couldnt bring myself to share

about things which i knew would make you frown
over things which might get us down

but what i didnt see
i was drifting further and further from you and me

friends from afar, standing so still, so quietly
and will our friendship only stay this silently

the ones near me, im afraid to lose
lose you in the same way as iv had before
pls promise me you'll stay
pls try to bear with me evryday
because i cannot imagine only having you in my memory

and dear, i dunno what you might be
a curse, a bane or a fantasy
but beyond these realms of prediction
beyond the past and memories
i can only thank you for taking heart to loving me

Monday, October 29, 2007 / 10:28 AM

Friday, October 26, 2007 / 1:12 PM

Thursday, October 25, 2007 / 12:21 PM

"...you are still my santarina lor!...." *gosh, what a bossy santa :)

Wednesday, October 24, 2007 / 10:54 AM

i was struck by an overwhelming sense of surreality earlier, as i was rethinking the half week that has swung past me...it's starting to feel like Christmas though December is a NPCC camp, a class chalet and a taipei holiday away. But the bliss and joy of Christmas seem to have caught me early this year, giving me extra bliss time perhaps, from what i missed out last year? Nevertheless, like what angels always say, count your blessings...i am...keeping every sense of luck, blessing, bonus, smile, laughter, company close to my heart...

On a less positive note, the surreality scares me, no man can walk too long on clouds can they? and when this bliss ends, where will i end up at the end of the rainbow journey? I remember soaking in this sense of endless contentment a year ago, busying myself with dance, coping with the unfamiliar and tedious routine of a beginning teacher. I felt powerful, unstoppable then. In my hectic and weariness, i felt all powerful, that i could do everything, everything i needed to and wanted to...More importantly, I was surrounded with friends, family and dear ones, close to my heart, cheering me on...Then the year passed, and friends drew apart, more likely, it could be me who drifted away..and for months earlier in the year, i was in the dumps.


This surreality becomes more pronounced, thinking back on the months which the princesses have stood by me. i got to admit, the dumb, careless, clumsy, blur Michelle is blessed because of the friendships she has enjoyed the past 6 years. Chubby, Maki, Jenjen, Fish,Roz, Shaun, Berd, Shu, Carol, Ivy, YX, JJ, Eugene, Xiaomei, Marcus, Xuan, Caleb, Zisky....Bingz, Pam, Leongster and you again..God chose the best people for me, and it's something that i havent stopped thanking Him for.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007 / 11:15 AM

you can hear the rigourous movement of their pens,
the ceiling fan going about its usual routine, so nonchalant by comparison.
the knocking of knees make the firm steady pace of my heels, sound slow

The stress, and their imaginary whirls of facts hover intimidatingly over their heads
their nerves you'll be pleased to see, hopeful eyes for the sullen faced
it's a time you witness the winners and the defeated
it's their time to shine, to flaunt, to give it their best shot.

and when their hour came, they died....
Most became relieved of their anxiety,
the rest could only realize that they have lost the battle
they could only look up in perplexity

and these warriors, defeated or glorified
stride across the field,
recuperate, or mug on
for the next few days of war

to my dearlings in class, i wish you well

Monday, October 22, 2007 / 6:06 PM

not even a swollen toe could stop me from being a happier me...

though mr yellow dsnt think its neccessary,

well but dun smile secretly under your breath

let me be delirious,

let me be mad

let me grin to myself like i hide a secret inside

it's like having lost a best fren once,

and recovering twice of what iv lost...

and im glad that after all these years

its still you.

...And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times. It's you, it's you, You make me sing...

and tho you're not the perfect singer...it never fails to warm my heart. :)

Sunday, October 21, 2007 / 1:04 AM

I found happiness in your arms today
In your laughter, i found that boyish glee
In your nagging, i found that sense of belonging

I know iv been blessed
and though tough days may still pass
il haf an extra shoulder to lean on
I know when i cry,
il have an extra pair of hands to dry my tears

And though i walk an uncertain path
im contented enough
just to be walking with you..

its my prayer tonight and everynight,
that you wun let go of this rough lil palm
that we'll b happy
that we'll make each other much happier persons

Thursday, October 18, 2007 / 11:17 AM

and you sang to me...my favourite tune....
the one which warms my heart,
the one which brings me to a time and place where i really want to be

and you looked me in the eyes
and in my tired face
you brought light again

where worries and problems left their trace
in my heart, your touch and gaze removed their place
where days passed with lament and sigh
companionship brought back some certainty and life

im still scared to cling too tight, too close
still afraid you might choose another road
il be walking this journey, till you decide to go
to drop my hand and turn away

Ultimately, isnt life this way
we travelling the path, we don't know leads where
but we walk with trust, faith and our instincts
and when all is right, we trust god will put things in place

Wednesday, October 17, 2007 / 4:33 PM

my walk this morning to and from 2e3 didnt match that of mine with 2e4...

same lesson,

same exams

when will you hear me out?

mayb im wrong, working you dry, overloading you

but look at you, some still dun care, dun understd

when you dun care/ dun understd, you chatter...you laff...you listen

i dunno how long dat laughter can last...

i can feel my patience running dry...

i am happy one day, frustrated the next...

i think you and i are the same, we both dun like what we are doing to each other

In every class, there will be the ones who gives up on you, who turn their backs, who shuts you out

there will also be those trying hard to keep awake, still willing to listen, and ask...

Im sorry to those who still keeps their faith in me..sorry for the black face

im thankful for one msg today..from my bro in class...thnx fer explaining and promising to try,

thanx fer not flaring at me, wen i got mad at you...

thanx fer your msgs, cuz they reminded me that not all hope is lost yet...

2 more days b4 i can fall back on my laurels

before i leave you to fight your own fight...

until then, im still ard, waiting for your anxious knock for help, your cry of panic..

i hope you know..i hope you know what i know.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007 / 8:38 PM

Michelle's been indulgent today, feeling that skip in my feet, humming my fave tunes while heading back to the staff rm...
Today feels perfect even as the sch day ends, even as the evening ticks by with a cup of warm white chocolate mocha in hand

...delightful, warms any heart on a cold day like today...

I feel like God has been keeping a close watch on me, blessing my every step today, every step which iv blurred by today...cept in 2e3 today, where my voice was strained to the max, and theres no way i could blur thru dat....

It's really been a memorable day for me, this old woman here whose children had to offer up their seats to me on the train. Paid my first visit to SPCA today with 2e4 (someone rem dat datz my form class...impressed) as part of their CIP.
The monsters in class, the ones who break chairs, scratch tables, slam their bags, became soft hearted, delicate visitors who handled the animals with care, loved them for the 2 hrs we were there. Some were very comfortable with the animals, some were daring to try and even go into the same cage.....the puppy eyes werent the only thing which made hearts melt today....the look in some of the students' eyes also made me melt.
Thinking back on the trip today, i think it was really god'z will..to let me c this side of the class, even let me hear some of the quieter gals speak about the animals..it reminded me that no matter what this class has done, the damage they are capable of inflicting, they were in their hearts, still the childlike them...honestly, though it was a tiring trip, taking the train and bus and all, but it was quite an experience for me, hearing the children outside of the classrm...a rare chance actually...but definitely an opportunity i appreciate...
so michelle thanks god for today, and she offeres the rest of the evening to the great lord, that she will churn out effective lessons fer her children....Amen..

Monday, October 15, 2007 / 11:25 AM

Sunday, October 14, 2007 / 10:32 PM

开始让我的心相信
开始有了那一丝丝的小幸福

相信你是要给我幸福
所谓的等待这次会有成果

我的信心建立在你的承诺
在每一秒的快乐时光，我都会更珍惜，更守候

好久没有这样的感觉
在熟惜 何舒服中找到小幸福

Friday, October 12, 2007 / 9:03 AM

Thursday, October 11, 2007 / 12:42 AM

Tuesday, October 09, 2007 / 12:37 PM

Y is ms lin so free? typing a blog entry while the rest of the world is bustling through and from their duties.
i am the voiceless teacher today, tapping on Wireless SG available at the polyclinic while im waiting my turn.
hehe, *silent laughter* the patients ard me are peeking into my screen, can feel their eyes on my back..
Looong wait...thank god for my lappie, iTunes..praying hard dat with my make up classes, i can clear my work..praying even harder that the class wun be too noisy tmr, cuz i really need to go thru stuff with them fer the exams..

Things ive learnt these 6 mths, u can hold the lessons, but they can choose to run away...you can only help them as much as they want to be helped. So yah, im here to answer you questions and doubts, but if till this point, you are still more interested in playing chuku and running in the rain, den alright, im really at my wits ends.
My last 2 weeks of lessons fer history, im working harder, churning out what i can, planning extra lessons in my head already, formulating qns and practice papers mentally. It's my job. and i hope that you recognize your duty as a student too ok

Monday, October 08, 2007 / 6:31 PM

wen 2 princesses meet without the disgruntled third, and helps her beo jap guys she might like..haha thanks sweeties! so nice of you to look extra hard fer my man! Boy in target is the one in white on the right.,..what do you think? my type?

Saturday, October 06, 2007 / 3:36 PM

Friday, October 05, 2007 / 8:40 AM

Reality check: Miss Lin is still behind her table, typing on her lappie, marking work in front of her...though her mind has wandered miles beyond the real time and space.

Change is happening so subtlely, overlooked by the overwhelming hype of work and datelines.
But quietly students are becoming easier to work with, talk to, teach. Teachers themselves too...i see myself loosening up in some classes, finding it more comfortable to teach and talk to them, and you cannot imagine my relief. Truly thank god for these little moments to breathe, think and realize dat there is still slot more going for me...shldnt be giving up on anything.
Sure there are classes, students rather, who cant sit still, cant listen when they are supposed to....well, these deficiencies and disabilities to hear, to sit still, keep still are the generations most common disease.

This week, i survived my observation. It will always be an observation il remember.

1. it's my first formal ob in the sch.


2. The VP was on MC so i got my HOD for Eng and Hist in


3. the kids were quiet!! (such is the power of the DM)


4. my kid told me it was an act n he didnt want to do his work =P


5. the same kid told me dat hez nt being himself, and he feels uneasy.


6. I told him, i like them not being themselves.

It's a friday, and looking back at the week,i feel happy like a pampered kid. Turly it's been quite a Princess Pak week, with the atas korean food last night at Amara hotel followed by the dessert at Menotti's, who could ask for more?

Happy birthday to that sweet teacher, whose thoughts and views i trust, whose character, intelligence i admire. It's more den a bday wish dat i extend, its a "Thank you for your frenship and your patience with me. a Thank you for the good, relible company that you are. I hope happiness, in the cashless form, comes knocking on your door...and convince you that 7 years wasnt in vain."

and no matter who i meet, where i go, what i do, i alwaz end up seeing you. Ive almost forgotten how many circles we've gone. Just taking each day, not hoping for more the next.

The Girl Inside

Michelle,
seeking the best in her, yet looking at her best days unfolding right before her at the same time.
contact her at: inspiremydance@hotmail.com
"It's not how hard you fall, but how hard you fight back."

Look at the stars, and not the reflection of the moon.

~endless time in the studio
~more cuppa time with dearlings
~travel more places
~dressing up
~getting that diver's license by 2009

SOULMATES ON THIS JOURNEY

Jem
Nicole
Bingz
Singapore Got Dance
Candy
Xiao Mei
Carolyn
Munchkins
Camp Coord
Coach Ng
Pammie
Emmaus BeErs
Our Wedding Journal

Never Forget Your Thank Yous

Topsy-Turvy (Designer)
Kurt Halsey (Drawings)

Memories

July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
March 2011
April 2011
May 2011
September 2011