.tracing her footsteps::tread gently where she steps.
Friday, April 30, 2010 / 2:44 PM
just fifteen minutes of my-time. to stare blankly at the each alphabet appearing across my tiny screen. as my fingers do the tapping, my mind is wandering... just 900 seconds to escape. a little while to breathe before i begin.
many thoughts clog up this mind today. some a little over due, unaddressed, sitting there patiently, waiting to be remembered. others, fresh from the stimulus of a busy friday, one thought at a time, this one the first in line. Melissa Toh's suicide.
A girl i never knew, as old, rather, as young as my precious sister. i am shaken by the fear and desperation which pushed her over the edge. disturbed by how she saw death as an escape. a solution. most of all, i am reminded that while life is so fragile for some, the rest of the world continues to fight daily battles with their fates. Suddenly, fighting does seem very noble indeed. and i pray the young will see their daily fight as noble too. i know Nicole's fight is. :) thank god for that
amid rushing frantically, marking continuously, ticking off my endless list of things to dos, i found bliss last week, this week, today, in SPEECH DAY, NPCC, SEC 4s, SUPPERS with JEM, PRETTY SHOES.
hanging in there, even if my nails are barely scratching the edge.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010 / 8:05 PM
你和我之间说不出的话好像在不只不决中增加了.
我们开始时, 滔滔不绝, 无话不谈.
好怀念
Friday, April 16, 2010 / 1:04 PM
a colourful evening, heart-pumping, sensational, satisfying, awesome,the credit of many, including my treasured cadet, flag bearer, and friend for holding onto the balloons for me, through thick and thin, LRT and School
and my favourite student of all time, now a junior of mine, from the best JC
roses-in-the-morning, swept me off my feet, started my day perfectly.
Candy coloured balloons, lining the spiral steps to my office
and welcoming me back up, after a good breakfast :)
sugar rush!
Thursday, April 15, 2010 / 11:28 AM
images fades in and out in a blur
time ticks quickly by
at the end of each day, i nervously peep behind my shoulder,
fearful to see how little i have accomplished.
is it too much indulgence to sleep a little more,
too much to ask to rest my throat and mind...
how much time must i find, to multi task and live up to your standards
before i can tell myself that i am good, just the way i am?
falling behind.
unwilling to catch up. just for now.
Monday, April 12, 2010 / 11:27 PM
thank you for reminding me what it is to laugh, and love my lessons
teaching you has made me feel energetic and purposeful, even on my most tiring fridays and thursdays...
and your presence makes my extra hours worthwhile
your smile and perseverence encourages me, to encourage you
thanks for warming my heart, for making me laugh, love and really live.
Saturday, April 10, 2010 / 10:04 AM
just two hours, 120 minutes...nerves.creeping.in.
but it's alright, since you promised to love me all the same,
good hair or bad.
Friday, April 09, 2010 / 1:11 PM
slightly cold hearted.feelings estranged from the being.
the things which made me smile, could no longer lift the ends of those lips.
there is no sense of joy nor pain.
a roaring laughter, echos only from a distant past.
feeling like a doodle board.
everything iv drawn and coloured, gets so easily erased with one slide of the knob.
do what u want. do what u care about.
because honestly, i couldnt care less about myself. much less about you.
just the way you wanted.
stop the rollercoaster somebody.
Wednesday, April 07, 2010 / 5:24 PM
when the life is knocked out of me. and what i see, isnt quite the rebellion inside.
i hope this gave you a good laugh though iv little appetite for jokes today. just waiting to get out of this dread.
Tuesday, April 06, 2010 / 10:34 PM
"...God likes you alot". :)
coming from a mere mortal of 16, this comment completely caught me offguard. If i could be laughing, holding my tummy and rolling on the ground, i would be. Unfortunately, being in a public setting like Starbucks, doing what i just described would completely invite unwarranted worry from the people around me. Not wanting to be referred to IMH, on the basis of a suspected nervous breakdown, I chose to just laugh silently, *yes, imagine vibrating shoulders* in front of my tiny laptop screen. (which in itself is quite funny too)
Well, God in heaven, must already be smiling to himself too. *nice picture to paint in my head* almost as pretty and nice as seeing all the kites flown against the setting sun just now.
my legs are screaming, except that, besides hearing their agony, i can no longer feel them. Amid the growing fatigue, worsening skin conditions, occasional gastrics and perpetual sore throats, the lil missus is STILL HANGING IN THERE! :) *cues: all applause*
hmm, i feel like a struggling survivor who has been receiving aid, (parcels from heaven) in all shapes and sizes. No longer are they things i carry around, or the clothes i wear. But these are real, precious gifts, whom i see, meet, chat, laugh with in my everyday. It is without a doubt who you are, you who saw me laugh, caught me in the act of being unglamourous, who hug me and wish me well, who offer me food when im hungry, who cooks for me when im not hungry, who walks with me, along corridors, along rivers, along rows of shops...heh. that's You, You, You and You. If u have done any of the above activities with me recently, ure probably the person im thinking of right now. ;) and i want to say, how much i love you for being God's real big precious gift to me! *tight hugs*
to sum it all up, "She is still happy!* applause again*
hmm saturday is quickly approaching...something grips me, there is a growing sense of fear...hmmm should i do it? if so...can i bear the consequences? *need inspiration, hints, signs of any kind, if you know what im referring to*
Sunday, April 04, 2010 / 2:03 AM
what lies behind that smile? the skin so fair, and brightly highlighted eyes? what do you see when you gaze into your reflection? do you see the same beautiful girl i see?
i wished i could see the tangled cords of thoughts running through your mind the same ones which makes you tear, fret and unsettled the ones which wrenches your heart, and make you feel you were not good enough
how can anyone reach into the real you? or does it still exists?
has society's pressures and expectations made you forget who you were at the start? or has it made you think that this is what u have to be? the girl you make yourself to be, the same one you can't reconcile with?
stop for just one sec. and be you. no one will stop for you, or change for you. so please don't feel you need to do the same for anyone
care less about the world love more of yourself.
Saturday, April 03, 2010 / 1:33 AM
你要走了,
你的背影孤独地离我越来越远
你的脚步声渐渐地消失了
看着你, 回想起我们曾经度过的灿烂时光
那短暂的光阴,实在让人怀念
永远会记住你时尚的装扮
永远会记着你的笑声
你处事待人的方试
坦率的性格,发光的双眼
让你周边的行人不仅再多看一眼
不知不觉地, 已过了三年
三年说长不长, 但说短也不短 在这期间我从你身上看到了自己的长处与短处
也学到了很多
感受到了你对教书的热情,
对每一天的乐观
对你周围的期待
真忠心地请求上帝再来临的日子里多看待你
在你跨入一个新的阶段,
记得要比现在的你开心幸福.
unforgettable. that's what you are.
Friday, April 02, 2010 / 11:34 PM
a new CD to her collection of music...
velvety smooth sexy vocals
a deep lull at midnight
as he croons
he sets my heart to a slow
and soon i close my eyes
appreciating the vivid memories of the evening
the short walk by the river
the laughter over dinner
shopping at Meidiya
all these life pleasures at a glance
makes her heart swoon in contentment.
The Girl Inside
Michelle,
seeking the best in her, yet looking at her best days unfolding right before her at the same time.
contact her at: inspiremydance@hotmail.com
"It's not how hard you fall, but how hard you fight back."
Look at the stars, and not the reflection of the moon.
~endless time in the studio
~more cuppa time with dearlings
~travel more places
~dressing up
~getting that diver's license by 2009
the credit of many, including my treasured cadet, flag bearer, and friend 
for holding onto the balloons for me, through thick and thin, LRT and School 
and my favourite student of all time, now a junior of mine, from the best JC 
roses-in-the-morning, swept me off my feet,
Candy coloured balloons, lining the spiral steps to my office
and welcoming me back up, after a good breakfast :)
