Tuesday, April 28, 2009 / 9:32 AM
there is a restless sense of lethargy lurking in the corners
it grabs me just when i want to take flight
suffocates me in a endless swirl of checklists and anxieties
i want to stop. guilt sets in. i want to persist. restlessness.
then the first rain falls.
silent, then in huge torrents
as if rain has been waiting eagerly to fall from the sky
it took away the humidity
with it the restlessness melted
and even as rain shimmered to a quiet end,
breeze stayed, accompanied by a beautiful setting sun
late in the night,
a cuppa tops off the wonderful turn of events. ;)
hiccups, annoyance, disappointment, fear,
fades with these blessings that god gave
Tuesday, April 21, 2009 / 7:51 AM
in a single night
caught up in becoming 17 again :)
came up with the name
"scarlett leanne"
.pretty happy.
let me gush at how we wander into sweet slumber
beautiful.effortless.blessed
Sunday, April 19, 2009 / 2:49 PM
once a while,
memories resurface from the depths
gasping for air, for life again
as though they've been kept away for too long
it unleashes a certain impulse
rash
to leave the monotony
drop the responsibilities
escape the insecurities
and be who and where ever you want to be
to realise that this reality isnt the only one
that the existence of others reassures another reality
another world you could be in
another world you want to be in
and that's exactly the memory i want to be in now.
escaping for awhile
Friday, April 17, 2009 / 9:01 AM
you must have thought of me, then gave me a ring.
though just a short call,
i could drift off blissfully to sleep.
you probably never know,
how many of these sudden moments i have in a day
where i think about u and me
the littlest things between us
and it keeps my smile lit the whole day
Thursday, April 16, 2009 / 11:54 AM
So many worlds surround me
so many roles I play
yet who am I really
am I going my way
love and fear grip me
the constant struggle to emerge
not one is stronger than the other
yet both could sometimes hurt
If I linger in the beauty of yesterday
I would write pages of your endearment
if I was caught in the web of the morning fright
the letters won’t form and
words would be trapped at the back of my head
it is THIS moment I want to capture
but I can’t grab time
not the seconds that tick too quickly away
feeling like even the moment’s not mine.
I’m a horrid wreck of nerves today
today, being in school
I’m not the one I respect in the mirror
I wonder if you think that too
I’m back to being an escapist
and shutting out these thoughts
I feel like a small girl
pushing forward a cartful of toys
it’s these happy thoughts that keeps me going
fill my mind and leave me a smile
could be wistful, even meek
but nonetheless, a smile for a while
but now im tossed like a rag
the demands of this and that
rush by, hustle along, jostle past,
I can only cling to the joys of what you left
since we started 2009
in this world with you beside
im secure contented beyond belief
I cast my gaze into the sky
and smile at the tubby you he left me
like a present left at my doorstep
unexpected.
a surprise, he knew id love
a bundle of joy like a fresh new life
delivered not by cranes but angels
when my pinky hooks your thumb
or when you slow your pace and walk beside
you bring a tingle of glee, dash of bliss, and an overflowing
and words do so little
to that mix of feelings you give
just know I like this feeling
I, more than like,
a dozen more verbs would be appropriate.
….adore, treasure, love, head over heels, won over, stuck on, passionate about, stirred by…
you get the drift
All the confusion in this security
this chaos in this peace
I love when I crawl back into what’s really home
anywhere, with you beside and Him all around.
and in this fleeting moment
im transported back to paradise
where my bubble is filled with
only thoughts of you
how you blabbered as a kid
and act like a rockstar
how you mumble like a martian
and make me double over with laughter
Yet perfection only exists after imperfections.
perfection finds itself only within imperfections
perfection is never without imperfections,
so i tell myself, i need these imperfections :)
Tuesday, April 14, 2009 / 12:01 AM
maybe im more than what i thought. i think i can actually predict the future! ;)On Thur, instincts told me that my weekend would be awesome. I couldnt have been more right!Over the weekend, i found myself another trusty, this time very pretty, companion. My little princess, i call her, after the song, by my undying favourite band Tohoshinki.So Princess, along with the little prince, my sturdy podie, took their first trip out together today, to give me my ultimate experience at bucks, even though i was on my own for a good 2 hrs. :) in school today, lessons breezed by me, mannnn that felt good...along the corridors, memories of easter egg painting yesterday, just taking time to focus on getting it right, making the best out of whatever limited art skills i had...was fun! hahah brought out the competitive michie i left in the dance studio...hahah though i lost quite willingly to parry yap! :) that engineer is really an artist in disguise! ;P and these good things brought me to think of the new life, now that Christ has risen. Now that i believe im renewed and refreshed, it did start me off well to the week...and i cant help but feel extremely blessed to be loved by Him, to be surrounded by patient, loving, nurturing friends and colleagues. Each time i look in retrospect at all the things that had come to past in my life, he fills me with wonder at how his hands never left, how he always just walked beside me, acting through my friends and family, ensuring that i never strayed too far, yet never once holding too tightly to me. Unlike most of us today, who cant let go of what we have...he alwaz gave the free will to choose, and with his patience, he would will us back gently, long as it took...when, i think, when can i be like a fraction of him, to nurture my students the same way, to comfort my friends the same way, to support wholeheartedly, trust faithfully, live wholly, help willingly...when?all these pockets of thoughts and mini ambitions, a goal to keep me working, a light to keep me on the right track..a will to keep me prayerful and humble. Man, my life really couldnt get any better! and yet at the back, i already have this prompting that with God, it definitely will get more awesome! :)Worthy is the Lamb!
Saturday, April 11, 2009 / 2:20 AM
i like when He plants little surprises, around corners.when i least expect it, i see his hand in the things i doHe's right there when im among my friends,when im watching video with the favourite boywhen im sms-ing my mum, calling her my joyballwhen im digging into a sumptious meal with those i lovewhen i laugh with my studentswhen my colleagues tell me im doing it right.thank you,for making me laugh, while painting the easter eggsfor sheltering me under the cutest mr men and little miss umbrellafor talking to me when i was church visiting on Thursfor giving me the lovely people i know im gonna meet this weekend.i love you, and i love this life i have now.cldnt b better! :)
Tuesday, April 07, 2009 / 6:53 PM
在离我不远的远处， 他就在那儿弹着吉他
想着想着， 到底要如何弹我最喜欢的新歌。
顿时，我感受到了一股很强烈的温暖涌向我。
早时后的疲劳在这一秒的开始消失了。
我继续坐在一旁，什么也不说
偷偷的微笑，
原来， 这个简单的幸福， 就足够让我的烦恼全都抛到九霄云外
原来，幸福原来是那么靠近。
呼呼，好像跟你说，现在的我真的好幸福哦！
Wednesday, April 01, 2009 / 12:00 AM
sometimes words don't come out the way we intended them too. that's regretful. a pity.a real loss that our lips don't speak what the heart feels.Not the depth of passion, not of empathy, love, and appreciation.Life, with it's quickness, fast moving scenes, changing from set to the nextallows for few words in between. words left unspoken. forgotten in the ticking of the next second.Time leaves no space for more thoughts to develop, children lose their endless, hearty laughter to the monosyllables among the vocabulary we collect. we are quicker to protest than to acceptfaster to rebuke, criticise, complain and gossipcomments, feedback are more practical and useful compared to the feelings we really want to express.Who has time to hear you out anyway?What is worth listening to.Your heart, that's what. i need to learn to speak to love, inspire, motivate, nurture and comfort.and when i fail, that's another heart that turns away rejected.The power of words and expression lies precisely in this.it can cut a mother's patient heart, and make an elderly's shatter and lose light.yet it can embrace the fears of a young child and soothe a baby to sleep.it can build friendships and create enemies.bless my lips then Lord, that it moves to speak your love, the greatest love of all.
