Tuesday, May 26, 2009 / 2:19 PM
a facade once broken shatters the faith.
i hope it's not too late to realise how far you strayed from my ideal.
and no, in my ideal, u are NOT perfect.
but that's fine because neither am i.
but truth in my face.
so starkly obscene. it disturbs me.
that in reality, you are far from this imperfect image i have of you.
in truth, you make me feel like i've failed.
as your mentor and friend for the past 18 months.
in truth, you have not been honest.
either because you didnt feel like you need to, or simply, you did not trust me enough to help you.
of course in your world, your friends are most important.
your friends, the same ones who bought alcohol for you, the same ones who talked incessantly to you during class, the ones you laughed with, smsed to during lessons.
are they really being good friends to you?
they are your friends because they share your sorrows, joys and pains.
but your parents wait to hear what you want to say to them too.
have you given them a chance?
they are the ones who will cry when they see me,
do you know their pain? Have you heard their pain?
you'd rather turn to your friends who are your BIGGEST hurdle to excelling and being more than who you can be.
is it sensible?
have you been a good friend and peer to those you claim you love?
i have a class of smart kids. some born with natural talents and skills.
yet the brightest of you fail to achieve.
instead use your wits in all the wrong places.
planning and scheming how to get around the rules, around Mr Tan, so that you won't be caught. so that you won't get into too much trouble.
you spend so much time scheming and planning and thinking through your plans that you don't even look yourself in that mirror and realise.
you have already failed. even before you execute your grand plans of what would be wrong and illegal.
you have already failed, because you failed yourself.
lie to everyone.
but God knows.
and YOU know. exactly what you have done wrong. where you have gone wrong.
Stop pointing fingers at others.
stop blaming your parents because they don't pay attention to you.
they are earning money to pay for that very hp and very clothes you are wearing now.
stop blaming your teachers. you have one essay to write. one worksheet to finish. they have 40 each time.
stop blaming the school, the weather, the lack of this and that.
if you feel the school is not gd enough for you, you are free to change one.
perhaps a year later, it'll all be different,
perhaps you can keep deluding ourselves to think that this rebelliousness is just a phase.
perhaps you can convince yourself with your pathetic excuses that you are alright, it's the system that's not.
keep convincing yourself ok.
because no one around is convinced for sure
