Friday, February 27, 2009 / 12:14 PM
i need to cross this hurdle. My own, by myself.
to stop looking from the inside and frowning at what i see.
this emotional rollercoaster i put myself through,
being over the moon at simple pleasures, little achievements
then letting all that i've built up,
crash down on me when i make a mistake.
they always say, "as long as you learn.."
but still, a mistake. an inconvenience.
damage done. impressions left.
then what?
sometimes, it's the need to unlearn
unlearning criticisms
learning acceptance.
unlearning looking towards greener pastures,
learning to appreciate the present.
among this ramble and tangled thoughts
some stark dislikes about who i know i am.
selfish, causing hindrance.
at some point, thinking i'm okay with myself,
than suddenly feeling small.
so easily i lose my faith in me.
so carelessly, i trample on my i thought iv built.
it's like building on wobbly foundations.
climbing and climbing,
but one easy bump, and it hits rock bottom.
then at the bottom, you sit in despair, feeling like the glorious days were just a bunch of lies you've successfully woven around you
looking around, you see the shards of events and thoughts.
the good, the bad ones. broken
you don't know what to pick up,
what is real, or true?
where do you start?
how do i start. *desperation rising*rambling is bad.it's like i dig right in, confront it in my face.unable to tolerate the lousy person i am, even after existing for more than a quarter of a century and the tears just choke, holding them in, before they spill over those wet rims.
The Girl Inside
Michelle,
seeking the best in her, yet looking at her best days unfolding right before her at the same time.
contact her at: inspiremydance@hotmail.com
"It's not how hard you fall, but how hard you fight back."
Look at the stars, and not the reflection of the moon.
~endless time in the studio
~more cuppa time with dearlings
~travel more places
~dressing up
~getting that diver's license by 2009
