Thursday, November 29, 2007 / 7:43 AM
It's surreal to be back in this familiar lil place, taking up again the ranks as a teacher
like i said before, it's time that i leave
my playfulness behind, my recklessness, my giggles aside
I can laugh with the children, as i watch them play,
i m here just to keep them safe
and i will sleep right next to them or guard them in their dreams
that they dun stray, sleepwalk or attempt sumthing notti within their means
and im a teacher, it's back to being one
putting on the thinking cap, planning from dawn to the setting of the sun
but with me are others just the same,
they don that smile and passion and work hard day to day
Lord keep me passionate, smart and alive
so il haf more to give to those rascals of mine
though it won't be the same faces next year anymore,
but the job doesnt change, im still moulding lives as each day goes on
and if the day comes when i call it quits
then lord heave another sigh of hope and get me out of that fit
remind me lord of the lil things these kiddos do
or spend their time planning just for you
Keep their surprise, wishes and encouragement clear in my mind
so that my energy and drive won't lag behind
At the end of the day, these kids might not remember all from the books and facts
but hopefully they will have the mind and heart for others, not just maths
That they will alwaz haf that voice and energy
and that conciousnesses to think and help others they see
i think with that id have accomplish my mission
adding another useful member to this complex societal formation
before they excel, they have to learn to be people of character
before they lead, they need to learn how to serve.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007 / 12:40 AM
Back to work le lil gal, before you can play santarina this christmas.
Put on dat mode, where you think and work for your students le, before you take flight for Taipei.
Michelle needs to regain her momentum, discard her fun, return to her cubicle, and be back the teacher she is...
Yesh yesh, i haf SOWs to clear, HODs to talk to, OC to dicuss NPCC with...im not sure if i can cope.
Can i make it more than just surviving? Will i educate and nurture minds? Don't be afraid to ask, i alwaz tell my students, yet these questions seem to daunt me even more.
Miss Lin, who will you be to those young eyes? What role will you play to those young minds? Mould them and nurture them, the seeds of your hardwork which you might never know. At the same time, the mistakes you point out so critically in the course of everyday.
Lord, please be my security blanket, my hope, my wisdom and light. Pls guide me to think and act the right way, to speak the right things, and to feel when i need to. Instill in me lord your strength and energy, and let me see you in these fellow teachers, friends and students. That i may get signs and ideas of you, from them....Teach me lord to feel you in my life, and to hear you in my mind.
had a great night though, something planned for awhile, though dat stupid miner seemed to have overslpt. Sometimes, i think we forget the simple joys of board games..and Fangting, thanks for bringing all back to us..had a great night guys...cheers to a good holiday and a gd rest for all of us!
Monday, November 26, 2007 / 11:52 PM
juST thought il add these in, on my 6 hr bus journey to watch the 5 stars~
berd and i getting comfy in the bedroom, of coz we spoke endlessly about DBSK
Pretty berd, even as she removes her makeup!
My perfect weekend to a perfect week,with thoughts of you 5 on my mindi cant erase evry sec of youi dun want my memories to fade with timethe sea of pearl redthe chants of your namesthe life in your dancethe groove in your beatthe energy in your songthe hardwork in every sweat and tearyou lit the night skygleaming like the starsalmost immaculate and so perfectbasking in the spotlight you held our gazeno matter wad the distance was near or farwe held you so close in our heartsdbsk, gambattemaishjunnie, im glad im in love with youcuz u did me proud evry sec of the concert :)i dun want a lot for xmas,this is all im asking fori just wanna c my babystanding right outside my door....hmm on second thought...maybe i do want more den that...haha lets see...theres dat fully automated fossil bling bling watch for one...hmm...okie, not gonna start my wish list here...but just feeling like a blessed lil gal who basked in the familiar company of frenz..alien..must take care of that nose..we teachers all look so overworked even in the holz..and yeah, deres the nagging thot of SOWs to be submitted this week...eeeky boo! well but leave dat rushing fer tmr...im looking forward to a whole night of bleach! plus dinner and supper with more beloveds tmr! thank you for dat lil surprise in the car...i hear our laughter resound in my mind, and im glad we shared these sweet, simple moments even for short seconds in time.
Friday, November 23, 2007 / 4:31 PM
tired after the morning hype...fussing around with attendance, hair, uniform....well, saw the last of it this morn...a silent thanks to all in HQ who helped us along the way, groomed and educated us to be proper T.Os in our own right..:) we came a long way from where we started...kudos to the graduands of the 63rd OBTC~
SPECIAL MENTIONS:
- BLACK CANE AWARD: Mr Suhaimi
you are the most apt for this award man, funny, charismatic in your ways...im glad we "worked" together as MCs, since we were not in the same group and all for camp...you really left quite an impression with your mandarin, your endless talk which ends in song...(i c dat even in your valecdictory speech)..all the best for your masters! Southeast Asian Studies rocks!
- BEST MALE CAMPER: MR ADAM LIEW
WAH LAU stern face! who would have thought?! haha but im really happy it's you! cuz you really eased into the role of leading Team Alpha so easily...and the way you work, dat certainty makes all of us trust you and your instincts...havnt known you dat long, still find you strangely familiar :) haha but im glad we've gotten to know each other better during this course...smile more la...you really look much better :)
- Most Motivational Officer: Ms Theresa Wong
You, who are married to NPCC, who has worked tirelessly for us, for the camp. You who have taken on the multiple roles of MC, FI, Campfire IC, photographer, and so much more....you emit passion from your efforts, and the way you speak to us, sincere and pleasant, you dun have bad habits, *ahem like we know who* and you're juz this cool, sassy, zai woman! keep those dreams alive! im juz blessed to know you, younger as you are, but certainly a force to keep me looking up and keeping positive for my cadets!
- Youngest Mature Mr Hao Nan Ren: Mr Immanuel Goh
what will i rem you for? issit the common interests in bucks? Seasia? the dimple? the willingness to help so readily all the time? You really young, but mature for your age...and god blessed you with a good mind and good heart...you're a surprise and a sweet friend...young as you might be, but thanks for seeing gd in people, and for sharing my thoughts on so many things...
its really been an enriching three weeks..i cldnt ask for more..im glad i gave up hotel loyalty dat night at ATC and won so many amazing friendships in return...thanx fangting, imman, theresa, tianming, and all in team A! Rock on with your enthusiasm and love for life!
Thursday, November 22, 2007 / 1:19 AM
Finaaallly, havent cracked my brains so hard for a long time, not even for the SOW, probably why the SOWs arent done yet..but *phew..sigh of relief for now..
hmm being thinking back of the past 3 weeks in HTA, ATC. it has been like a liminal period, all of us taken out of our daily lives as teachers, subjected to new rules and new routine. Within a short 3 weeks, we learnt new skills, protocols, drills and engaged in 'adventures' we might not have imagined doing before..
evrything has been such a pleasant surprise for me, perhaps because i was already dreading it so before i embarked on this journey. iv been impressed with the kindness of the people here: that's you boyboy, my "heroine" theresa and nicole's form teacher Tianming. You may not know how many lives you touched, im thinking many...with your willingness to give, to share, to help, to make life more bearable, reasonable and understandable. the smiles we share between us, laughter or secret, will alwaz put a grin on my face....dozing off in lectures will take on a totally new meaning now! theres alwaz big papa watching! scary! :)
to TEAM A :) esp Fang ting, Norah, Abi, Adam...you guys crack me up, make me laugh, share my complaints, hear me whine..laugh at me, with me....:) you guys are real god sends...far beyond what i imagined wen we first started. il say it again..im so thankful for you guys..
special mentions: su leng and chio bu adely: you 2 were my earliest frenz in OBTC, from completely different areas, different schools, teaching diff subjects! we were so different, yet hit it off so well! im glad we still share dat locker, still share our moments...thank god for you and you, for being serious and fun at the same time, for being my reminder...what would i do without u guys!
and this is cheers to me. me for being that lucky gal, no matter where i m, god still puts his angels right there for me. I walked this short chapter of my life, with new characters, who will continue walking with me as friends, planning with me as colleagues, being with me as NPCC teachers, different, but held together by this common thread. and i dun fergt to thank my lucky stars fer the frenz who have stayed all these years, this recent years and for whom i know will stay for the years beyond.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007 / 1:43 AM
Tues, my day of 2 happy meals, good meals with good company...so i feel really blessed today..lunch was mos, perfected with corn soup and milk tea! oooh lala! simply the most comforting food on a chilly rainy afternoon..with dat dear of mine, whose gonna hafta work out soon...25th dec yo and both of us, havnt moved an inch towards the goal!dinner was great cuz i met up with dat energized babe...missed you berd! berd in her pretty white and green sundress, perfected with italian looking yellow heels...felt gd cuz we ladies really had a sumptuous feast at swensens...rib eye steak, battered fish, rodeo wings and the calories goes on! :) no guilt tho! i barely meet her...and the perfect end to a perfect day, is a smile and a kiss planted on the cheeks of that martian. seated within his arms, and knowing, dat hez right there, ready to catch me, hold me, oh! and pull me back frm oncoming traffic! *grinsthank you lord for the fun today, thank the angels for keeping tabs on this plushie thing, on her frenz she loves, and for blessing food dat gives us life and makes us happy! *keeping my fingers crossed about an almost-good piece of news* wish with me, tonight, this xmas
Tuesday, November 20, 2007 / 12:45 PM
What do i get these days in the morning....i see the martian next to me, making sounds i do not comprehendand when i try to get it up, it whines and rolls on his side, away from where i mand i talk and nag, for it to get up and readyit sounds like it tries to answer, but nope, i don't understandso we try other means to communicate, sign languages and all, all this time his eyes stay close,we end up laughing, cuz the human dun understand what this martian says.but its my great start to the mornin, childish as it might be, to hear him laughing right beside meto call him ugly smelly, to get him outta bed, yet see him smile right back, cuz we both know i dun mean what i saidand after all these attempts, he still stays right there,still playing his martian self, to reassure me dat he is still awakebut thru it all, still not wanting to get outta bedit takes an earthquake, and another 15 mins,before he gets up and about...god, this alien...what m i to do with him??my martian boy, i love you so..yes, as much as you are the greatest lai chuang-er i know, and a real log wen im trying to get you up...but giggles and laughter in the morning, grins with crinkles in the eyes, make good starts to the day...and i know, im thanking god in my heart, with every moment like this with you. :)
Monday, November 19, 2007 / 6:57 PM
My third week of NPCC is coming to an end rather soon. Rather surprised that il haf a sense of loss, :) perhaps it's been another God's blessing that iv grown to like this bunch of squadmates and since the camp, everyone has gotten much closer, sessions are more fun, rowdy too....:) hmmm plus did i forget to mention dat this time apart from sch has really been refreshing, waking up at 6.30, even if i hafta travel all the way to the end of the world, old cck rd....gawd, cant change dat, but with my new mates, its much more bearable. Looking back, i think it was a time where i got to learn more about myself, what i could do, the person dat i m. dat i should remember to keep my energy up, because i still have so much left in me, the child in me since cedar days...i still love that adrenaline rush, dat surge of excitment. I like to challenge myself, push myself to the limit..feel myself reach it, sumtimes slip n not conquer itdat i cant shoot for nuts, :) embarassed but true, cuz i cant see with the foggy goggles..im hopeless...yes laugh all you want. Haha, dat in an obsessive, freak way, i like foot drills, and even arms drill wen i can rem all the commands, cuz it really looks very gd as a unit doing it all together.thanks for the laughter guys, thanks for letting me develop this sense of pride n belonging in npcc..its your willingness to give, help, share which makes all of this ezier to bear, special mentions of Theresa, Immanuel, Tianming, for being reminders, role models and motivations to better myself thru this course!Juz a prayful moment, recollecting on the past week...Princesses, iv been a worry, iv been a toughie to talk sense thru but at the end of it all, thanx fer still smiling with me...and listening to my insecurities, through the puffy eyes. Thanks loves from a long time, ivy and carol..for never wanting to change me, for nv been too far away..we hardly meet, but we alwaz stayed close in the heart..if only all frenships cld be as simple as this...and for dat fatty whose juz taller...thanx fer being dat comforting voice through it all.. and the lil angel voices of my students...hey u guys are the sweet lil things dat keep me going..u cant imagine..
Sunday, November 18, 2007 / 12:20 AM
counting my lil blessings this late night
watching the one i love work in full sight
his scribble, his frown, his occasional turn around
the music, the sounds, in his room surrounds
this is cliche, but still so true
my dearest now, was the best friend i knew
from a long time before, we became friends to start
enjoying the long hours of tution over the phone, breakfast at macs and even groccery shopping at the mart
these memories etched so deep in my head,
i wonder if this is the plan which god has laid
the circles and hurt, we've both been through
the pain, the lies, the christmas blues
i never want to relive those days,
when the both of us have come such a long way
let dec 25th be a new start
let every 25th be a lingering sweet day in our hearts
let me be greedy and pray that i get to keep you
close to me this way, always honest always true
iv a past, not that im proud of,
issues, not alwaz solved.
flaws you might have overlooked
like the fact crybaby, or that i cant cook :)
but truth is jem, you've had my heart,
whether we were together or the times we were apart
that this heart of mine, iv placed in your hands
cuz for now, and i hope, a long time to come,
you have this heart and the promises iv made
i will alwaz hold my head up just like you said
keep afloat, smile, grin, cuz of thoughts of you
especially wen i knoe you dun have a clue
and now i gotta go
if i do want that massage so
so il grin again, at your unknowing face
and count my blessings again quietly this time in my heart
Friday, November 16, 2007 / 2:12 PM
at first i was afraid, i was petrified!
kept thinking how i cldnt live without my mummy by my side
then i spent so many nights
thinking how i had to chiong,
and i grew strong
i learnt how to get along...
and so im back!
from ATC
just look at me now, the bugs no longer bother me
i had to eat out of mess tins
i had to eat just maggi mee
and the thought of pitching tents are still haunting me!
i will survive! i have survived
iv gone through kayaking and HRC and
i am still alive!
back to the sweetest place of all, familiar smells of the hawker centres, palatable taste of nasi lemak and sugar cane juice. ahhhh...such luxury..
took many leaps of faith during the camp...am glad i did...the feeling flying off that pole...."Look mummy! no hands!" was quite amazing...reminded me of a part of me i think i havent seen in awhile..glad to have it back! :)
green moments aplenty, heart broken, tears fallen...but at the end i know, that god blessed me with someone more than what many think he is...and im never letting go...and il never stop believing in you and me :)
Saturday, November 10, 2007 / 12:01 AM
the way i are...
i suck in morality
Thursday, November 08, 2007 / 3:21 PM
its been a long time since iv been around here...had a distracting, fulfilling week....:) but..fatty pak is feeling like on top of the world...probably only thing weighing me down is a single thought of SOWs, a thought which im determined not to let grow.
Afternoon post on a humid public holiday...still stuck indoors...been a real lazy bum...but a happy chirpy one..:)))) hmmm...thoughts still just randomly running..wait. strolling along in my mind...how should i even start my own recollection of my week..
What have i been up to.....well for starters..iv discovered a really cool place along old Choa Chu Kang rd, yeah juz busstops away from the exile, Jln Bahar..:p its called the Home Team Academy, where they groom leaders and protectors of Singapore's security....(with pride) hahah...its really cool since im usually there at 8am, and the sun is barely, rarely still up...where miss lin is Mdm, and officer-to-be...(who could have imagined)..where the NS police men are labelled as mungkoks (not too sure how to spell that, but degoratory labels need not be accurately spelt in this case), where you have to wear your hat and the only way to get your way around is to march. NO. I. AM.NOT.KIDDING.
Well, but in case you are laughing at the imaginary vision of ms lin in her uniform. Hey, i don't look too bad, if i should say so myself..and to my surprise...im feeling alot of pride too going through this course..which is a gd thing cuz i think im gonna need the energy n zest to be with my cadets at ubin this weekend, and for myself the entire next week...well many reasons holding me back from wanting this camp, missing out on princesss time, bf time, dance nights, suppers with neighbours, and friends leaving for overseas, watching my lil angels perform fer the last day of sch..well the list goes on...but there is a part of me who is looking forward to the old days where you eat outta mess tins, climb retarded heights and feel gd being with your group...yeah the gd ole cedar and cj days...
more importantly, i hope to find another me..rather, i hope a part of me which might i might have lost to bz days of teaching n lesson preparation since january...find back a more energetic n focused ms lin, less tired, less stressed...more positive and taking charge of my life. . feeling quite blessed these days really...i mean, no school, no planning...plus i gt to sit thru lessons, haha without having to teach, learn new stuff like tying knots and pitching tents, footdrills..haha..dun play play ok, miss lin juz learnt how to build her home for the coming week...its triangular, its double layered, it dsnt have a very high ceiling n it slps 4 ppl..haha no prizes for guessing what it is...it requires 14 bowline knots..haha not dat that is very impt...but tying that knot took a gazillion tries...i bet my fellow T.O thot i was retarded or sumthing..so you see im no fast learner...
well, this good break has done me good i guess..mr yellow commented that the skin is clearing up, bingz princess been very sweet, still dropping in to check on me frm time to time, pammie till msging very pammie-smses and making me laugh at her... :) thanx dearies...thanx fer sticking it out with me, even though i hvnt been ard much...rather at all, with NPCC course and the recent yellow project...*smile to myself* been feeling dat lil blessed plushie me coming back...with home made brekkie, hero serial nights and short gd honest conversations with old friends like carol, ivy and shu! and i met up with angel..finally...caught up and heard about retarded shoplifters!! gawd....exciting stories...
well, il wake up to a few hrs to don dat npcc uniform with pride...pray hard dat i dun embarass myself too much while im learning..gd night world..gd night martian..gd night to all my god send friends out there...let the starry night warm all your hearts and light all your dreams!
Sunday, November 04, 2007 / 2:28 PM
and in that lil instant, you smiled with thoughts of me in your head...
and still kept in this surreality,
a smaller me still fears the day where you walk away,
bored, dissatisfied...
insecurities don't just leave in a day or two
i feel like a little child, scared to let go of her mumsy's hand
wanting to take more steps, yet afraid to move from her current comfort zone
but il stick to what i said before
sometimes, you have to learn how to let go, to know what is real...
pls don't think im unhappy with my current life...this week couldnt have been better, sick as i was...im glad i met up with my longtime mates, carol, ivy, bearbear, biib, mad ktv sessions with bingz and pammie...didnt buy her calenders tho :) and moments with him....im contented and loved...and special thanx to my lil angels from zhonghua and peihwa....:) your emails, your msn nicks , your photos do wonders to my day...lil angels..thnk god for you...
berd and i getting comfy in the bedroom, of coz we spoke endlessly about DBSK
Pretty berd, even as she removes her makeup!
