Wednesday, June 27, 2007 / 11:24 PM

deflated...not defeated...just need to take a breather before i catch up with the pace again....marvelling at the stamina of my heads....and dats the same pace and energy i hope to achieve....anyway just one new picture...from my dearies in BLAST! bare illusion is back! *wheeeet*

Tuesday, June 26, 2007 / 10:46 PM

Its only tues!!!!

overwhelmed

breathless

stunned

confused

but......

MOTIVATED!!!

Sometimes in life, you don't just do it because you can..but rather you are put in a spot where the people around you push you along...helping you out, guiding your way...I love it where i am..and i want to stay positive about it...There is no doubt that in both my depts, there are Supermans and Wonderwomans....people with the best recipe for educators.....Smile, patience, and a love for their subjects, and students.....

Just a shout out to all my teacher friends: We can Make it, We will Make it...Press on peeps!

Special shout out to Starbucks Princesses: Gamatte mash!!

tomorrow is my full day, where i see all my classes....i hope i dun puncture halfway thru the day!

Sunday, June 24, 2007 / 1:57 AM

it wasnt too long ago that i toasted to the end of 10 wks of lesson planning, caffeine overdose and semi screaming contests in the classroom......

those days are back....back for good....Ms Lin has officially started to teach, full fledge teacher...not some relief, trainee ok....

counting the cups of mocha frap im taking...missing the days when i slurp on it indulgently while watching a movie, or with dear frenz over random chatter...

now while the nights are spent working, the days worrying...i hope il get through each day and not age too quickly as eliada suggested b4....well just gotta say this, teaching is a tiresome career..no doubt abt it...but given the kind of mentors i have in sch, teaching also becomes a motivation and a challenge, which holds alot of meaning because i know what i say and do, can influence someone's life.....or at least i hope i can impact them positively....

still keeping the prayers and mental smses to god frequent...praying for wisdom, alongside grace and a virtuous heart and mind.....so that il be patient and loving to my students, my colleagues, family and friends.....

new sem evryone..to all zhonghuarians, including OKK...gambatte!! keep those tired heads up, new sem, new hopes k!

Thursday, June 21, 2007 / 11:34 PM

tired....but i know god has blessed me in this new sch with many nice, motivated and funny fun n charismatic teachers..itl b a real learning ground for me to push myself outta comfort zone...to rise to new challenges, to multitask and still give my best in all dat i do...n i know i want to..not that i haf to...just as evry sch b4 this has been my learning ground, i know god has put me in peihwa fer the right reasons...n im work harder at not wasting opportunities if i might haf done so b4.....

miss dancing n rehearsing....undoubtedly, the stress and fear of being in a new sch, of teaching the syllabus in a new way, the sensation of butterflies in my tummy evrytime i think of mon drawing closer...im a bundle of nerves...but i know if i do it right, i haf many experiences to share with these kids as well, many passions of reading, of history which i want to impart, slowly but surely...many smiles i look forward to, many new frenz i hope to make....God, pls watch over me evry step of the way, esp since im still the klutzy gal u know i can be..pick me up wen i fall, catch me wen i trip lord along lifez evryday challenging paths...

my objective now is to stay on top of work...and to haf time for some dance classes....crossing my fingers...cross..uncross...cross..uncross..haha its official, im nervy tonight....back to work

Wednesday, June 20, 2007 / 4:53 PM

Dun feel like saying much....just tired already from planning work...need to find back the rigour for the coming new sem...well well at least i bought stuff for my table already..now its just bringing down the stuff to sch itself....

Sunday, June 17, 2007 / 1:11 AM

standing at the end of the street...one glance at the line of lamps, their light making halos, lighting my way home...i like this feeling, even in the drizzly rain, where raindrops becomes a pretty sight as you see them fall against the lit warm yellow glow of the street lamps...how many stop in their tracks to take a while to thank god for the quietness of the night, the beauty of sight and the ever consolation of nature?

the titter tatter of each step, contrast against the calm steady rhythm of my heartbeat....to remind me dat no matter how dark or how tough the journey might be....i will survive...i will become better...not for you who dun deserve it, but fer all those who love me enough to put up with my nonsense, my happie, unhappie, angry, frustrated moments....I ever hung my heart on my sleeve...i ever took a leap of faith, only to fall on cold ground, only to see you turn your back time n time again...only to see you choose a path away from me....and il never let myself do that agn....you made it so hard to love freely....and i wanna find dat back...i wanna find back my courage and my nonchalence...urs is a battle which will alwaz rage at the back of my head even as i take on new battles in the classrm....and because im so aware of it...i will know how to disregard your importance, and regain my shine on greener pastures

its a perfect rainy night...so reluctant to fall asleep...

Saturday, June 16, 2007 / 12:26 AM

juz a simple night....with familiar company....no fuss....no food...juz canned milk coffee..and many tunes dat sprang to mind..juz singing, humming....chilling......simple satisfactions....hope you, my fren, will alwaz b carefree and happy..

Wednesday, June 13, 2007 / 12:40 AM

you keep me uplifted

you keep my smile lit

you laugh along with me

you share my pain, my joy, my worries

you see me through the playful, cheeky, mischevious moments

you are: CHUBIAS, PRECIOUS BLASTARDS ESP BHF plus ahmad, caleb, shaun, and more!, ALIEN PLUS PRINCESSES, BUGGIES: XIAOMEI, XUAN, MARCUS, pals like ivy, carolyn, shu!! DEAREST FAMILY: COUSINS, AND NICOLE LIM

Counting my blessings b4 i crash..going through pages of memories with all this special faces god has blessed me with...my reminders not to be let anything in life upset me fer too long....

Monday, June 11, 2007 / 1:33 AM

HAPPY SMILEY JOYFUL BUBBLY EXCITED SATISFIED BLESSED FORGIVEN ESTACTIC REFLECTIVE HONEST MOTIVATED

many emotions iv experienced today which i hold dear to my heart because they were built out of memories shared by many dear close frenz...iv gt many thanks to say.....especially to BHF...evryone in there...TAU AND ROZ: UR EMAILS MADE ME TEAR....touched and happy, sad that it has ended....Tau ur comments alwaz mean alot...cuz i really alwaz hold u in very high regard....close to the way i regard pat..juz a person whose smart and very quick to point things out, very funny, smart, bitchy, efficient and extremely talented.....n u know, its alwaz such a joy to do ur choreo cuz i love it.,...in fact, even though i moaned whined abt reggae and stuff...i really salute you choreographers fer the excellent dance, which im sure all of us love because it certainly showed on stage...grateful n proud dat i was part of this, proud dat i cld do ur choreos! MARY: iv nv really gotten this close to u....nv talked this much to you...ure really a gentle giant...the kind of person that this world is in shortage of because of ur patience and how easy going you are....it alwaz bringz a smile to laugh with or at you, it alwaz consoles and encourages when you taught me how to do your steps which i hope didnt turn out too ugly..but yah..thanx fer being a teacher and more thankfully...a very very dear fren..Candy: you're alwaz the silent strong pillar...you're hardly heard, you do all ure told to, and more, you're alwaz acccomodating, arranging rehs timings and all....You do SOOOOOOOO much, n im very grateful, what will we haf done without u?? no rain and thunder, den no dance loh......you rock babe! n im proud to be on stage with you after so long......frm illusion gals to now....uv grown so much as a dancer and i really look to you humility and excellence as a motivation....today on stage, i think BHF showed them what it meant to be seasoned dancers having fun on stage.,..i think being close knitted as a group also helped becuz it made the dance look so pleasing, to us, to the audience..i mean pat loved it! hahah cant gt over dat moment!

chubby: yeah...thanx fer the gentle moment wen u offered me the tissue and commented: you missed me right....yah i did..very much....fat gal..im glad ur veggie fruit thing is over so u can eat meat with me!

Looking back at the past mth, i realised my mentality towards dance has changed..it used to be a very competitive platform fer me where i strove hard to find my excellence there...during dat time, dance was important and yet i was also very possessive about where is stood as a dancer..and dats the part which killed me because, having so much stake meant a big ego and alot of insecurities in sumthing which i placed so much importance in. Those years were good cuz it laid strong foundations fer me, and i was even luckier to be in Blast! where the family and close envt forged many strong frenships, which judging by the many bdae surprises, i know will continue past our dance years. Dance recently was more abt gtting the choreo so dat i can enjoy it on stage, to be in sync with the rest of the team, to laugh joke and have common goals and wishes abt the grp...i know we did ourselves proud today and we really didnt lose....BHF really nailed it today didnt we??!! i know we did...and the happiest moments were really listening to the screams and cheers frm frenz and those who love us......it was having their affirmations, it was seeing them there, making time to come n watch us....wow...i mean...like a family isnt it....they make the hard work all worth it, you wanna make them proud too...i dunno hw to translate how im feeling right nw onto this....bt im juz a satisfied and blissful angel, plushie dancer tonight...

thanx to alien, changmin nuna and yunho's significant other: dears, thanx fer coming down, even though dance and all has nutthing to do with your lives, i mean thanx fer sharing this with me, fer tahaning the crowd, tahaning my long hrs in the loo, arranging things ard my dance reh schedule....i appreciate all this and more!!! thanks fer the laughter, advice and encouragement

to my very impt princess nicole...the realest princess in the house: I LOVE YOU! ul nv know how much i wanted to mk u feel proud, and how very happy i was wen u were there both times to share my dance with me...

Saturday, June 09, 2007 / 1:32 AM

thinking day...finally admitting that I need to think, b4 i can change...i need to experience, to see, to realise, b4 i recognize how far i m from an ideal....not a perfection...i guess its realizing hw people ard me are so "perfect". I mean, put aside little flaws which most of the human race has....these frenz are really ideal gals..besides being smart, they are not bad looking, they are determined, independent, capable both of career and household chores....They are also patient, loyal and very dear frenz of mine........and i started thinking...mayb i should haf done so long ago...but i realized i wanted to be like dat...i want to be so much more den i can be...so much more than i m.......so much better, more pleasant, more valuable..as a fren, daughter, person...perhaps next time, so much more valuable as a gf and wife...

Its the training of the mind? or the change of the heart, to chase out flaws, to learn to hold ur tongue wen hurting words, mean comments are coming out. To give people the benefit of the doubt, to see beauty n grace in the people u meet. To revisit the simple values we learnt at our tender years-the values of patience, kindness. To add wisdom and grace to these values. To not be corrupted or compromise with the pressures of the world and society today. To look at your family and be tahnkful that parents are still giving and selfless. To want to model after them and teach children these same values. It's realy not bullshit. It's a mouthful, it sounds like from the CME textbk, but its true, honest, difficult and yet achievable.

I want to start, i hope i know how...to look back at the end of the year and tell myself: hey, iv grown as a teacher, as a fren and as a person.....clearly i cant reach it with a snap of my fingers...i dunno when il reach this target but i hope itl became my goal, my mantra and my prayer with evry waking moment. Change is the only constant..n i hope il change to become a gift to more ppl...cuz right now, i dun think this michelle is very much yet.

*wondering but not unhappy*

anyway, juz a not to BHF besides: CYA ON STAGE!
its been great and i guess you all know it...whether we say it out or not...
its how different we are, yet how we all gel together
its how we squabble, bitch and complain, but we alwaz end the session gossiping n laughing
its how anger dsnt stay long, and mutual understanding increases evryone's threshold, be it fer lame jokes, bitchiness or flare ups.
its how we know, how we connect, how our steps can flow, look the same and evryone feels gd..
its the new umbrellas...and mary's blog that touched hearts n brought ppl closer...
its the energy, motivation and support
its the diversity not the differences that makes BHF shines,
its the history and the friendships that makes evry step of this competition, worthwhile
and its ROZANA, CANDY, TAUFIK, IDIL, MARY and many frenz and supporters, (there or not) that makes me feel very lucky, happy and blessed..

counting my blessings, as many as the stars in the sky tonight

Thursday, June 07, 2007 / 11:44 PM

ROLLLLLLLLLL...ROLL IT DOWN, ROLL HERE, ROLL THERE....can SUMBODY TELL ME WHAT IM DANCING TO???? hahah...ms lin has stars under her feet...n im feeling happy.....

its been a while i think, since the night sky has been so clear, since my heart has felt so light and full...full of real happiness, satsfaction with what im doing for the many moments of today. Right down from waking up to complete my SOW, to ta-baoing lunch for the SP who saved my ass by signing in for me this morning, to the gd sharing session i enjoyed in my afternoon lecture.....

i remember what otti, a gd fren who shared many coffee moments with me at East coast Macs told me..Happiness is really abt wanting what you already have, not what you dont. And i truly indulged in evry moment of today, from eating a gd dinner, enjoying the company of the princesses, to mentally noting the many times i laughed or was tickled by comments of silly pammie....while the teachers are truly stressed, whether its on the face or hidden at the back of our minds, im glad we really have each other to whine to, advise and motivate us, to trigger off ideas, to point out things we fergt sumtimes....

and DANCE! its nv been a more relaxed competition, not because we slack, but because i feel the group is so comfy with each other,...we are really dancers and frenz...cuz we are so much of both....learning steps and cleaning up hasnt ever been so efficient....i truly salute the choreographers...the suave idil, THAT macho Mary AND THE WAH LAU BRAIN IN THE STOMACH TAU....u all are truly amazing!! respect! and to ever dearest roz n candy....watching and dancing with u all only motivates me more....love u all.....umbrellla song is our signature ya! cuz no matter the results, we will stick TOGETHER, FOREVER., and we have all toegther 6 umbrellas in the group..haha ok lame...

last sweet thing to put a smile on my face b4 i slp....thanx bingz fer the very happy kpop song MY MAN..though really this man is non-existent at this moment..and iv enjoyed blogging this incoherent, unsophisticated but very me blog entry, with the luxury of the lappie on my lap while i lie in bed.........

heading off to slp, knowing tmr will have another bagful of happy things fer me....i hope u will c happy things in ur day too!

Tuesday, June 05, 2007 / 12:03 AM

yay...brand new sat morning! can go out and play again.....

fresh and clean after shower.....like babies.....

O....O.....O.....LETS DO THIS!

choikang changmin and xiah junsu des! clowning around sessions after the show

...pictures taken with the dancer, actor, singer...the man who murdered, hahah cheers to caleb who danced his heart out i hope...and to andy who carried off the tune even if he had to share mike and look gay with his fellow performer..hahah who rose frm the dead...

princesses out for a night of artistic exposure...hahah right...all dressed and ready to go...afterall jubilee is a but a street away

hotel rm 3105...in a hotel whose interior reminded me of cheesecake...haha bt many thinsg remind me of food these days...

WAHHHH! haha and the divine beauty yelped in surprise, surrounded by the darkness of her room....tonight is her special night...she turns 23....So fer this special occasion, fer this especial gal...her room came alive with bigger animate things! hahah hmm some behind her chair, on her chair, at the cupboard!!! haah bt cheers to party planners and frenz....SUCCESSFUL SURPRISE!.......hahah CANDY MAK....happpy birthday!!! cheers to yet another successful surprise! ROZ ul b shocked too!! hahah

its been a refreshing week....slack slack slack...bz with unimportant lectures, induction sessions at school....geeez...seriously how long can the HQ disregard the eye rolling and sleeping crowd in and LT of 700 ppl...ooops perhaps 600 since many were absent! cmon! wheres our holidays man!!! feeling so %*^%*#^#@$^@$ having to give up taipei time fer unmotivating, uninspiring and time wasting sessions in this god forsaken hole in the west...

Thank god smiles can be kept up with my dear 5 boys...returning my smile in the screen in front of me....and the 2 smarter prettier princesses sharing their "resources" with me...haha im embarking on a learning a new lang, finding out dat im nt quite the linguistic learner i was thot to be...haaha m scolded about my accent! and not paying attention to the vocab enuff..hahah ok gotta admit, my "lang teacher" who aint quite educated herself in Korean, keeps raising her voice, rolling her eyes..so yah she scares me into paying more attention..hor PAM?! hiaks..but yup these gals have been angels keeping me the laughter, rest and enjoyment.....its hard to be tired and dreary ard them...even wen im dun feel up to things...so thank god...

anyway, the weekend started off this week to a bright start...had a great night laughing, beoing at EVOKE and catching up with frenz...watching the perf with non dancers made me realize dat performance is really quite universal...the comments from non dancers and dancers alike were similar..so sumtimes, its really not abt the techniques, its abt how much impact u leave on ur audience in wadeva ways....cheers to the cast for the hard work and some lingering choreography......well....extra spring in my steps cuz after the show on fri...we gals strutted back to our home for the night: PAN PACIFIC...pretty toilet, king sized bed, smacked in the shopping area...felt so pampered....wished it cld haf been longer though..bt we woke up on sat fresher, happier, gushing princesses...so yup worth the packing and all....

and of coz: BHF has gotten to the finals....whether it was gd or not..we had A HELLUVA FUN onstage! hahah...guys! its been amaing dancing be it at as7, smu, or THE REFUGEE CAMP...really...its the company, the chemistry, the cheers from those who love and support us, and the choreography by our very own guys! i like this dance team built on friendship...i like this feeling of looking similar...love u guys....

Wednesday, June 27, 2007 / 11:24 PM

Tuesday, June 26, 2007 / 10:46 PM

Sunday, June 24, 2007 / 1:57 AM

Thursday, June 21, 2007 / 11:34 PM

Wednesday, June 20, 2007 / 4:53 PM

Sunday, June 17, 2007 / 1:11 AM

Saturday, June 16, 2007 / 12:26 AM

Wednesday, June 13, 2007 / 12:40 AM

Monday, June 11, 2007 / 1:33 AM

Saturday, June 09, 2007 / 1:32 AM

Thursday, June 07, 2007 / 11:44 PM

Tuesday, June 05, 2007 / 12:03 AM

The Girl Inside

Look at the stars, and not the reflection of the moon.

Break The Silence

SOULMATES ON THIS JOURNEY

Never Forget Your Thank Yous

Memories