Wednesday, April 04, 2007 / 5:51 PM
Ive just been reminded that it's been 5 weeks since i was Ms Lin in zhonghua. I've definitely settled in a lot more now, meeting bumps less now, though they still do pop up now and then. However, there are classes which i go in now with more confidence, there are classes which i walk out, motivating me to be a better teacher....of course there are also classes which i feel im terrible with, and these only make me think more, think about how much of a teacher am i. These morale dashing, confidence plunging classes often makes me question my competency as a teacher. Afterall, which teacher wants to do damage right.
BUt well....it is a learning process..everyday i think i've grown a bit more, learnt abit more, whether it's about my job, or my students. This job has also taught me to look inside at myself more, reminding me of my purpose and reason for being here. There are still things i dun agree with, standards which personally i don't feel aligned with, however, at the end of the day, i still look up at the evening sky, the pink flushed clouds and think "thank god fer blessing me...with the hrs in school, with my classes, lessons, colleagues etc"
Its been 5 weeks, i've only had 4 observations, but i muz say, they left a really big impression on me...there were classes whose behavior was so unexpected! so cooperative, taking the initiative to keep quiet, reminding each other to lower their vol...i felt so loved honestly....even my supervior admitted that he could tell that they were difficult bunch but they tried to be good, to help me out....iv never been more touched....there were classes, in an entire day, where i walked out of every class feeling on top of the world, where i knew my students had fun, learnt something....these lessons work like strawberries on a cake, they perfect my hardwork. They give me reason to work harder. They boost my confidence, so il be more daring in trying different things with them.
While school life has been bustling, dance has clearly taken a backseat..doesnt mean i lost my love or interest, i nv will...its just dat there was a point in life where i worked my ass off fer dance, dancing evryday, thinking and stressing abt dance the way i stress about school now, and it has been very satisfying and gratifying....and now, i wanna recreate the same satisfaction as a teacher...and because theres so much i dunno, iv gt to work even harder....
just wanna say thanks to those ppl who has been keeping me sane, alive, the princesses, dat chubby woman, dat alien boy, the dancers, my parents who listens, puts up with and lives with my occassional outburst, my precious sister who's a student herself...and god....they keep me going, evry step, big or small....
well okie...let out a long deep breath....back to work!
The Girl Inside
Michelle,
seeking the best in her, yet looking at her best days unfolding right before her at the same time.
contact her at: inspiremydance@hotmail.com
"It's not how hard you fall, but how hard you fight back."
Look at the stars, and not the reflection of the moon.
~endless time in the studio
~more cuppa time with dearlings
~travel more places
~dressing up
~getting that diver's license by 2009
