Wednesday, October 11, 2006 / 9:54 AM
*phew* sucha relief dat the concert is finally over...dun gt me wrong, i already miss the daptees and the free lessons, but the concert was just causing too much anxiety..i noe probably cuz i dunno hw to cope..bt at the same time, i felt like i had to mk a point on stage u noe..like my 1 and a half hr on stage has to highlight my effort and sacrifices for the entire year!!! it had to answer for y i missed gatherings with my council peeps, missed mass with my family, missed family gatherings..so yup the stresss was killing me..the fear of nt making it terrified me, dreamt of falling offstage and all during my turns....eeeeks,.still shudder at that thot..
bt its during this period of time dat iv also witnessed much love and definitely god's saving grace. My family came to watch the show on sat!! including grandma who nv saw me dance b4..she used to (actually she still does) tell me nt to dance so hard, dun tire myself out..n in my hrt, the concept of nt doing dance, or doing it less juz doesnt click with me..i hope she saw the hard work n if she enjoyed what she saw den all my hardwork wld have been worth it. i noe my dad n mum were really proud of me..haha mum said sumthing abt me doing ballet on that same stage during one ballet summer school wen i was 10 mayb? haha yah..n hw i was so stiff n uncomfortable den..,n dat night on the same stage. they saw their gal floating across the stage..hahah u noe parents are biased...so is my blog...hahah i juz had to mention it...
Of coz, what else better den haf supportive dance mates and frenz screaming ur name, cheering u on the moment u step on stage..i felt so loved!!! n it juz pushed me more on stage...speacial mention of the goregous babes i grew up with in danceblast! they really saw me thru this whole journey, from the doubts i had over whether to go fer the scholoarship program, to the final product...shuyi, chubby, maki, roz, xuanjie, jen jen...i noe i made u all worie at some pt...bt thank god fer u all!! thanx fer the flowers, the cookie, the card which i bring along evrywhere i go to remind me of the love i haf, teh pooh pen, the endless affirmations iv received from u all!! couldnt keep the disapptment fer long when i came out teary eyed after the performance..
and saw u all, thinking of hw to present me my many gifts!! thanx sweethearts!! to the hoods, ex hoods, caleb idil saladin alamin!! and ahmad!!!!!! thanx fer coming!!! i noe: Congraduation to me!!! and to shaun who came on fri night with berd..thanx fer making me feel like a real star..fer believing in me...means sooooo much..i noe u even if one day no one understds or if evryone juz walked away, u will still b dere pushing ur plushie along...i hope u find what u want in life, hope u find what satisfies and sustains u in life...rem passion can only tk u that far..sumtimes u haf to gt out of ur comfort zone to acomplish greater heights...n i noe ure capable of it as long as ure willing to put ur heart to it....aftter all the blubbering, hw can i fergt abt HO SHU HUANG?! hahah first time im receiving flowers on stage leh..touched!! n carol n keith..im so glad u guys were here to share dance with me..even if its juz dat night..im glad u c my hardwork, my determination..n i hope i din disappt u..
last bt not least, hw can i not mention the 11 of us who made the shgow possible..n all the supporting crew...especially props and costumes!! tahnx qiaowei...quick change wld haf been impossible wiithout u..really..juz thinking of that stack of costumes strewn on the floor waiting fer wash...ahhh such an agony! haha..to all buggies...im glad we tahan the whole journey..im glad it turned out betta den expected and its been grt esp during this period of time, to b training and working our butts off on the same stage...n i noe jitterbugs is only another push fer all of us to climb higher and achieve more in our dance journey...take flight....it juz started!!
The Girl Inside
Michelle,
seeking the best in her, yet looking at her best days unfolding right before her at the same time.
contact her at: inspiremydance@hotmail.com
"It's not how hard you fall, but how hard you fight back."
Look at the stars, and not the reflection of the moon.
~endless time in the studio
~more cuppa time with dearlings
~travel more places
~dressing up
~getting that diver's license by 2009
